The salon took place at Coco de Mer, Sam Roddick's erotic boutique in Kensington. Their ethos of the brand is that sex is playful and fun, and the heart of it is erotic education via salons and workshops with experts in the field. I love the store and found myself fingering everything and making a wishlist. I spent ages reading books at the back of shop as there's an erotic library full of contemporary and rare books - a chair would've been nice. I loved the sexy sketchbook by Tracey Emin, 'spank me' rulers, and kinky scribblings on the wall and stairs, which made me laugh.
The salon was women-only so there were around 10 of us and nice to see Sam Roddick take a pew. She said she's been curious about the love eggs and meaning to do the salon for a while. The tutor was Uta Demontis, a Taoist practitioner and sex coach. She started by asking us what we'd like to get out of it and for most of us it's better pelvic floor control, and great sex and orgasms. Doing the exercises is a preventative measure against common pelvic floor conditions such as stress incontinence and prolapse, which can be a side effect of pregnancy and childbirth, ageing, over-exercise (running!), and being overweight.
Universal Healing Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy
I came to the salon via Qigong classes and reading Mantak Chia's work on female sexual energy. He's written several excellent books and I recommend Cultivating Female Sexual Energy and The Multi-Orgasmic Woman. I like the idea of incorporating holistic self-care with a heart-centred practice involving breathwork, visualisation and meditation to raise your energy. It's a simple, grounding practice you can do every day to nurture yourself. I also find it far more sensual than working with a plastic pelvic toning device.
Uta talked a little about the history of jade love eggs - Taoist masters in China taught the Queen and concubines in the royal courts how to use them for improved health, longevity and sexual prowess. There were boards with diagrams about the pelvic floor and having a visual representation helps when you are doing the exercises. The overall aim is to bring energy down into your body - third eye (forehead) down to your heart, stomach, womb and yoni (vagina), and to keep this circulating during the practice.
She explained that if you do the exercises daily you will see an improvement in strength and grip within three weeks so that's motivating as you can easily chart it. The PC muscle responds quickly to exercise and it's just as important to learn how to relax it. My Pilates teacher told me hers is so tight she had trouble letting go of the speculum during a recent smear test! This will enable you to grip or 'milk' your lover's lingam (penis) during sex - i.e. give him an internal massage while he's inside you. This changes the dynamics of sex - you are penetrating him if you like and his challenge is to remain still and enjoy it.
A couple of the women in the group were wearing their eggs to practice. I didn't as I had my period. If you're wearing it out and about I recommend Bridget Jones pants in case as it's bound to come out when you sneeze/laugh/cough..
Sacred Love Egg Ritual
The second part of the session involved practical exercises so we got down on the floor on yoga mats. Here's a simple test to put you in touch with your love muscle - smile to yourself and feel what's happening in your yoni. It sounds odd but it felt like it followed the movement, turning upwards and holding things in place. Then frown and it's the opposite effect - your muscles feel like they are letting go. Your sex organs respond to your mood and emotions, which is interesting.
- Create a safe and sacred space where you won’t be disturbed. Add candles, incense, rugs, music and make sure it's warm as it's easier to do the exercises naked.
- Connect with your heart – place both hands on your heart and smile to yourself. You can download the Healing Tao ‘inner smile’ meditation from Uta's website to guide you inwards.
- Self-massage – rub your hands together to get the energy moving. Slowly massage your belly, thighs, breasts, mound of Venus, outer and inner labia, and perineum. Be playful. Using a lubricant will make it feel more sensual.
- Connect your heart and womb – put your hands on your heart to reconnect and then put one hand on your womb – visualise the energy flowing between the two.
- Check in with your body – is now the right time to do the practice? If so, place the egg between your hands or on your belly to warm it, smile and place the larger end against the inner labia. Hold the smaller end between your fingers and circle the lips until your body ‘sips’ the egg inside. You can gently push to guide it in but your body should be open and receptive to it. Visualise the vaginal canal and the egg moving higher once it’s in place. Keep breathing and smiling.
Jade Love Egg Exercises
We were guided through nine egg exercises starting with a basic squeeze and release of the egg to sense its position. Mantak Chia recommends 300 squeezes throughout the day and the best way to achieve this is to incorporate the exercises into your daily routine – wear it at work, and during yoga and Pilates classes. We then moved on to contractions – tight for 1,2,3, hold for 1,2,3 and release. Then fast contractions. You also need to rest between each exercise.
We then moved into various yoga moves while squeezing and releasing the egg to create resistance and build strength. These were 'Mountain rises from the sea', 'rock around the pelvic clock', 'love thighs', 'cat' and tug-of-love,' which involves gently tugging on the string of the egg with one hand and using your PC muscle to keep it inside. Quite challenging..
I found the exercises incredibly sensual – a cross between yoga and pilates moves and belly dance using music, deep breathing and visualisation to generate energy. They made me feel calm and expansive, which made the journey home across London much easier.
The salon was great fun, informative and empowering. Uta recommends making the practice part of your daily routine – even if it’s just 10 minutes, to help you to increase sexual energy and muscle strength. It's a way of nurturing yourself and checking in with your body too, which we all need. My next experiment is to sleep with it inside me, which can lead to vivid, erotic dreams. Bring it on!
Resources
Coco de Mer salons and erotic education
Stone love egg set - jade, rose quartz and obsidian
Uta Demontis offers sex & relationship coaching and healing Tao practice via her website.
Disclaimer
Nicci Talbot - Nicci Talbot is a journalist and author specialising in sex, health & wellbeing. She edits Rude Magazine, an online resource for better ...
Join the Conversation